Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Do you have that person that you can tell anything in the entire world to and they still love you the same no matter what you say?  They listen to your every word like it could be the last thing you say.  They are willing to risk it all to make sure you are happy.  Then one day... they are gone.
The choice was my own to finish it, but I have hit a stage where I am beginning to regret it. I just want to sit and talk with you about the things that no one else can know like we used to.  I regret leaving you behind since you were one of the few things I had left.  Instead of trying to get you back in my life like I want to do, I choose to leave everything behind.  I have decided to give up all that I have and turn to someone bigger than the two of us to lead my life.
Who knows?  Maybe one day he will lead me back to you, but right now, unless you want to swim in a heart that is sinking, I need to simply get you out of my mind.
I wish you every happiness, but I will be miles away somewhere out there.  The universe will keep us separated until we are meant to see each other on the right terms.  
I guess Neil Sedaka said it with, "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do".

Just Know That You Are Not Alone.

Little blessings come into each and every one of our lives.  Let's take note and be thankful.  You never know how much these gifts mean until they are gone.  I am thankful for all that I have been given.  Each and every thing in my life has given my life a purpose.

Winter

The first day of winter semester at BYU began today. Emotionally, it went smoothly after a wonderful therapy session from my dear friend, Brandon. He claims that he has the personality of a "healer" as he can calm those with the hardest trials.  I completely agree with this as he definitely listened and calmed me down last night.  Zero degree temperatures were the surroundings that I walked to school in today.  It was so cold that my phone shut down.  By the end of the day, it was up and working again, but it took at least six hours to start up.  Hopefully tomorrow will warm up whether it is the weather... or my heart.  I hope to find the rainbow after my storm soon enough.

Alone.

I fell in love again
All things go, all things go
I made a lot of mistakes
In my mind, in my mind

If I was crying
In the van, with my friend
It was for freedom
From myself and from the land

I made a lot of mistakes
I made a lot of mistakes
I made a lot of mistakes
I made a lot of mistakes

All things go, all things go

My Life at the Present Moment

"Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop figuring out precisely how we feel, stop deciding exactly what we want, and just see what happens." - Carrie Bradshaw

My entire life, I have focused on keeping track of every moment and having everything set on a precise schedule.  I was never confused or unprepared at what was to come.  Now, I have no idea what the next year will bring.  I have personal goals to accomplish, but my main goal is to stop looking at everything so closely and stop trying to figure out my life through having control every moment.  I will accept what others give me with open hands.  If something is meant to happen, it will happen.  I have decided to take on the "Eat, Pray, Love" scenario and spend the next three years trying to figure out my life and who I am before jumping into settling down into an unhappy place where I do not appreciate the gifts I have been given.  I will spend a year of prayer in a location that is unknown to me at the present moment.  I will be assigned my destination by an individual that I deeply respect.  After this adventure, I will determine the location I want to "eat" at.  This eating may be a mental feast on words or knowledge and not a feast of physical foods.  Finally, I will find a place of "Love".  Only one knows where this will lead my life, but I know that I will have a greater understanding of myself through this.  I have begun to say good-bye to those who mean the most to me and plan on leaving everything behind as I enter a new world.  I hope to record my adventures here and can't wait to see the observations I find.  I am so blessed and thankful for everyone who is willing to help me make this possible.  Let the future come forward! I am ready.

I told you that I love you.

Mr. Blue, 
I told you that I love you 
Please believe me 

Mr. Blue, 
I have to go now, darling 
Don't be angry 

I know that you're tired 
Know that you're sore and sick and sad for some reason 
So I leave you with a smile 
Kiss you on the cheek 
and you will call it treason 

That's the way it goes some days 
A fever comes at you without a warning 
And I can see it in your face 
You've been waiting to break since you woke up this morning 

Mr. Blue, 
Don't hold your head so low 
That you can't see the sky 

Mr. Blue, 
It ain't so long since you were flying high 

Mr. Blue, 
I told you that I love you 
Please believe me

Soul Mates

People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. 

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. 

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master.

Nothing is Impossible. The word itself says, "I'm possible!"

Audrey Hepburn stated, "Nothing is impossible.  The word itself says, "I'm Possible!"  As much as I love the idea of this, I feel that maybe our relationship really is the impossible.  There is no way that we could ever, would ever, should ever be together.  This has been a very hard thing for me to understand.  Now, it is time for me to escape and move on to something new that can show me the impossible really is possible.