What do I think?

I think you are the only person that I have ever been close to loving....

I'm not sorry there's nothing to save...

That was strange to see you again
Introduced by a friend of a friend
Smiled and said 'yes I think we've met before'
In that instant it started to pour,
Captured a taxi despite all the rain
We drove in silence across Pont Champlain
And all of the time you thought I was sad
I was trying to remember your name...

This scar is a fleck on my porcelain skin
Tried to reach deep but you couldn't get in
Now you're outside me
You see all the beauty
Repent all your sin

It's nothing but time and a face that you lose
I chose to feel it and you couldn't choose
I'll write you a postcard
I'll send you the news
From a house down the road from real love...

All I can tell myself is
Live through this, and you won't look back...
There's one thing I want to say, so I'll be brave
You were what I wanted
I gave what I gave
I'm not sorry I met you
I'm not sorry it's over
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save

I'm not sorry there's nothing to save...

Make You Feel My Love

This song defines us and how we would take care of each other as the night stars would appear.  These memories will never fade away for me.

When the rain
Is blowing in your face
And the whole world
Is on your case
I could offer you
A warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows
And the stars appear
And there is no - one there
To dry your tears
I could hold you
For a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you
Haven't made
Your mind up yet
But I would never
Do you wrong
I've known it
From the moment
That we met
No doubt in my mind
Where you belong

I'd go hungry
I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling
Down the avenue
Know there's nothing
That I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging
On the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
The winds of change
Are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing
Like me yet

I could make you happy
Make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends
Of the Earth for you
To make you feel my love, To make you feel my love

I broke.

After deciding that I would not allow myself to communicate with him no matter what, my phone began buzzing with texts and calls from him to spend time together.  I went a whole sixteen hours staring at my phone and refusing to respond until temptation pulled me in.  After calling him, an immediate response came and we planned on meeting together last night.  We spent a good time together, but there was the idea hovering above both our heads that we had less than a week left of this before he and I would separate to go on different paths.  This thought scared him as much as me I believe.  We had been through so much.
Our paths may never cross again, but neither of us want that to be the case as was shown last night when we were talking about seeing each other in our futures.  I do not know if things will ever be the same between us after this summer, but I do know this has been a defining chapter in my life.  He has helped push me forward onto life.  The closing of this life chapter may be hard, but I know that I have the rest of my book to finish writing.  The best has yet to come.  I can only wait to see what God has in store for me.  

Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places.

If it is meant to be, it will be.

Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth. Be You.

Lonely.

The trouble is not that I am single and likely to stay single, but that I am lonely and likely to stay lonely.


It’s probably not just by chance that I’m alone. It would be very hard for a man to live with me, unless he’s terribly strong. And if he’s stronger than I’m the one who can’t live with him.  I’m neither smart nor stupid, but I don’t think I’m a run-of-the-mill person. I’ve been in business without being a businesswoman, I’ve loved without being a woman made only for love. The two men I’ve loved, I think, will remember me, on earth or in heaven, because men always remember a woman who caused them concern and uneasiness. I’ve done my best, in regard to people and to life, without precepts, but with a taste for justice.

Always Remember

 

If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s okay with disappointing you. Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do. If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs.

Marriage

“You know it's never fifty-fifty in a marriage. It's always seventy-thirty, or sixty-forty. Someone falls in love first. Someone puts someone else up on a pedestal. Someone works very hard to keep things rolling smoothly; someone else sails along for the ride.” 

Is bigger and better worth it?

Isn't it funny when things start working out exactly how you wanted them to, but it no longer matters because you have moved on to something bigger and better? Somedays, I really miss the thing that was smaller and not as important though because it meant so much to me at one time.

“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages."

I want to be married someday to my best friend.  I want to spend every minute together.  I want to live life with him and only him.

Dear Carrie...

Dear Ms. Carrie Bradshaw,
      I know what you have gone through.  I have felt what you have felt.  I have experienced what you have experienced.  And I hate it.  I know what it is like to first meet someone and fall deeply for them.  I know what it is like to have them hurt you more than anyone else.  I know what it is like to watch them love someone else right in front of you.  I understand what you felt when you thought you could never compare to their new love.  Tall, beautiful, and straight hair was what summoned his love while the short, unique, and big curly hair girl watched in despair.  I have heard the phone ring and looked down to see his number appear when he was never supposed to contact me.  I have tried to leave him behind as I moved on to bigger and better things, but I always have that name in the back of my mind.  It is as if fate is teasing me by constantly putting him in my pathway.  I now understand what you felt the night you and Big were in Paris looking at each other in the deepest way as best friends.  Now, I am to the point of asking myself, "Do I want this story to continue to where yours went?", "Will one day he fall right where I want him and we can stay there forever?", or "Should I leave before I am the one left behind?"  Carrie, I wish you were real.