The Closest Thing

I have this fear that someday you will realize I am not as great as you think I am.  When I first met you, I never would have imagined that I would have such strong feelings for you.  I never thought I would have dreams about you or miss being by your side or get butterflies in my stomach when someone mentions your name.  When I first met you, I never would have thought I would love you.  Yet, I do not even know if you could consider this a case of "love".  I love all the time I spend with you and our simple conversations.  I love that you were there for me when everyone else ran away.  I love that you have been the only constant thing in my life for almost a year now.  I love that everyday I do not think I can go on, you always have that "silly feeling" to call.  I am not sure if this all adds up to "I love you", but it is the closest I have ever been to that.  I do not know what has changed in you since the first day we met, but obviously it was enough for me to give you a chance.  Stepping off a ledge, I am so glad I took the jump.  Thank you for being in my life.

The Lioness

People will always say what pleases them; no matter who it hurts.  I have especially found this true in the preceding forty eight hours.  I am so blessed to have friends that I can count on to be there for me.  Not very many people are willing to do that.  Yesterday, on Christmas Eve, I had a lovely time shopping and chatting with my darling friend Katie.  She is honestly one of the most beautiful girls I know and has such a sweet spirit.  We were able to find so many great gifts for our families.
Late last night (Christmas Eve), I received one of my biggest gifts.  The truth.  I have learned to realize that gifts are not always good things or bad things and they can cause you to have deeper struggles than you would without them, yet they will bless you in the long run.  I feel that God's trials for each of us are gifts that we will someday look back on and be happy we had to experience them.  The truth I received last night was somewhat surprising, yet explained a lot of things I needed to know and explained how I can make my life better.  I obviously have struggles and am not always perfect, but I am trying my best and that is all that matters.  If you aren't willing to accept that, move on and leave me alone.  Do not think that since I made a mistake, you have the right to make me feel inferior.
I love the idea of lionesses.  They are so proud and strong no matter what comes across them.  Many people say I am like a lion and nothing will ever be able to bring me down.  Well, I am here to tell you today that I do drop down and feel like the size of a small ant.  I have people who make it their life goal to see me suffer and sometimes they win the battle although I try to hide my hurt through walls of radiance.  I am clearly not the most beautiful nor smartest and I am not a cheerleader nor have everyone falling at my feet to worship me, but I am still a person.  Lionesses carry themselves and others through storms, but I am sure at some point in their lives they break.  They wonder if it is all worth it.  God will show them there is a purpose for them and their trials and the storm will carry on leaving you alone with a ray of sunshine.
One of my favorite quotes by Marilyn Monroe states, "I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell do not deserve me at my best."  I know I am crazy.  I know the illnesses and problems I have been given.  I know I can be selfish.  But, I also know someday those who doubted or ever gave up on me will be wishing they stuck to it for a little longer because the worst of me will come to an end and I will be perfect.  Then people will regret their decisions to be against me and the way I handle myself.

Marilyn Monroe

Judgement

People are willing to judge so quickly.  No one is willing to learn about another before assuming their own opinions and to assume only makes an ass of you and me.  I have never met you, however, you KNOW me so well.  You KNOW I am a brat.  You KNOW I am worthless.  You KNOW my life story.  Well, I am here to tell you that you do not.  Everyone makes mistakes and I am sorry I made one more than you, but that does not make you superior.  I do not believe you know the trials I have faced, am facing, or will face so please do not involve me in your petty games.  I may not love everyone the same, but I refuse to hate someone until I have met and understood their reasoning.  Upon learning that, there is no reason to hate.  Why would anyone want to cause someone more suffering that they already have?  I thank God I am strong enough to deal with the things people do to me because there will always be someone who cannot handle it.  Those are the people you read about in the obituaries.  So... if it makes you feel like your life is worth living to make someone wish they did not have one, go ahead and keep going on that pathway.  If not, then stop and please grow up.  Sincerely, V- Nasty

Christmas Eve's Eve

Love My Ladies- IHOP

Sexy Cream

Sexy Ketchup

 Yesterday, I was rather lazy after having a lovely evening with some of my closest friends!  The night before, I had been hanging with some of my favorite boys (why I enjoy their company so much, I do not know) until the time had come where my bed was calling my nam

Katie's Modeling.... Beautiful.

Just Chilling with the Ladies

e.  Yet, upon laying in my bed, I did not realize my evening had not even started.  Olivia, Katie, Riley, and I decided we would be patrolling the town that evening.  Our first stop was Rancheritos.  Who knew other people would have the idea of going to Rancheritos at such a bizarre time?  The workers were very kind as Riley placed her order (even though when getting her food, the churro was rather disgusting).  They offered their modeling skills in taking pictures with all of us and then even let us go into the kitchen to see our food being made!  We started talking to these two boys who graduated last year from Olympus and Hillcrest.  I thought they were friendly and we drove around with them for a little, but my perspective was seriously flawed (finding out the truth the following day).  After we left them, we went over to Hiro's house and were joined by Hiro, Pills, Alex, and J.R..  We watched a movie called Decent 2 about people who get stuck in a cave with cave zombies.  Lots of blood.  Everywhere.  And the people were so stupid!  I know if I were ever in a sketchy situation, I would survive just because I can handle myself.  After the movie, we said our goodbyes and arrived home without any trouble.  I definitely collapsed of sleepiness as soon as I got to my room.  Last night, I ate a delicious citrus grill kid's meal cheese pizza with salad and a peach lemonade.  Then was supposed to meet up with the boy from the previous night to go to Viva La Xmas (even though last year Viva La Xmas pretty much sucked).  Before I met up with him, the girls (Elise, Olivia, Hailey, Blake, Kaycee, Katie) and I went to IHOP to make friends with our waitress named Denny.  Then I met up with my new friend, yet wasn't really impressed with him so I went to go help Katie with her supposed "car accident".  We then went on to dye Blake's hair a dark brown/ blackish tone while taking pictures and hanging out in just a relaxing setting.  After, Olivia and I had a lovely discussion on men in her driveway for quite sometime until I left for home.  Now, I have awoken to the smell of my brother making pancakes.  Tata for now! Vicky V

Mermaid Tails

Recently my friends inspired me to start blogging to record my life.  This is my first post on my page "Mermaid Tails".  Mermaid Tails will be about my life and my daily thoughts.  Why mermaid tails you may ask?  Mermaids are symbolic of everything I want in life.  Freedom and Love.  They are creatures that will forever be linked to the sea which is how my own heart is as well.  They are matrons of enchantment with their grace, charm, and beauty.  They come off as mysterious and few know their truth.  I grasp so many connections with mermaids.  I hope to fall into the sea someday and live there in harmony.  When that happens, maybe I will have some real mermaid tales to share...